Do You See Me? Why Not?

orphan, africa, african

The best way to begin this blog after everything that has taken place this week is to ask the profound question “How are you”? Depending upon the community you live in, that can be a hard question to answer. So much hurt, pain,  devastation, disbelief and failure is at the forefront of our society. As a nation we don’t know if we are coming or going.

When I sit and think about the events that have transpired this week alone I am forced to ponder questions such as: “Why is it so hard to treat every human being like a human being? What’s wrong with administering equality to every human being? Why does one group feel their mission in life is to make other groups feel less than? Do you have the answers to those questions because right now I don’t?

In spite of the great advancements our nation has made; there is so much to learn regarding RESPECT FOR LIFE!

Do you see me? Why not?

The reality is I am just as smart, intelligent, innovative, loving, caring and sophisticated as you are. I want to enjoy prosperity, luxury, good homes and friendships in all walks of life just like you do. I want my family to prosper, flourish, thrive and grow vigorously just like you want it for your family.  I have big dreams and big plans just like you do. I work hard and have contributed much to this country just like you have. I AM WORTHY AND MY LIFE MATTER!

Do you see me? Why not?

Maybe you do see me and the problem is the things that make me great is what you fear… only you can answer that.

Have you ever heard of social intelligence? Social intelligence is a new science that explores and explains various phenomena, from the way we connect with and respect others, how we make friends, how we express empathy to how we influence others. When it comes to freedom, justice and equality, Social intelligence is more valuable than pure intelligence in many ways.

If you are interested in “healing” social intelligence is a great starting point.

Here are a few ways to enhance your level of social intelligence:

1. Be sensitive to others. It’s important to be able to recognize emotions in others. The easiest way to do this is to study people. Their actions, words, and facial expressions will reveal their emotional state. Consider how you would feel in a similar situation. Each person is unique, but we have more in common than not.
Focusing on the emotional state of others is a welcome break from focusing on your own and it allows you to see through the lenses of someone else. 


2. Listen. Do you listen when others are speaking, or are you merely waiting for your next opportunity to speak? Seek first to understand and then understood. Others appreciate a good listener. We feel more important and validated when we have someone’s undivided attention. If you truly want to understand… listen and wait until the other person is done talking before you open your mouth. Be patient.


3. Be assertive without being aggressive. We admire and respect assertive people. It’s frustrating when others beat around the bush or attempt to be indirect. But there’s a difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness. Assertiveness is the honest and reasonable statement of your opinions, needs, and feelings. “I would prefer to have this conversation tomorrow” is an assertive statement. Aggressiveness lacks respect for the rights of others. “No, we’re having this conversation tonight” is an aggressive statement, because it ignores the other person’s right to have an opinion. As a black person in America, no one have the right to tell us how we should feel right now; however, we welcome an opportunity to explain in detail why we feel the way we do. 


4. Actively manage your relationships. Relationships are constantly changing and evolving. It’s necessary to maintain your relationships and make them a priority if they’re going to flourish. If you will take the necessary steps to enhance your social skills and practice empathy, then maybe one day YOU WILL SEE ME.

How high is your social IQ? Social intelligence consists of communication and social skills. Without respect and seeing value in others, Social intelligence will become more challenging. If you’re struggling to to understand what many people of color are going through in America, consider spending time to develop your social intelligence.

Lashonda Lee


  1. Robin Hahn on May 31, 2020 at 1:15 pm

    Thank you for sharing. I would love the opportunity to listen and hear why you feel the way you do.

    • Lashonda Lee on June 3, 2020 at 9:39 pm

      Thank you for reading Robin. I wrote this blog as an expression of how so many of the members of my community feel. What’s happening in the world today is a reflection of how people of color have always been treated in America. We have asked, begged, pleaded and contributed to this country in an effort to to be seen as equals. Here it is 2020 and we’re still fighting.

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Lashonda Lee

Life Coach

I am a growth/success coach and lifestyle influencer, helping women live their lives authentically and unapologetically so they can experience success, happiness and fulfillment in every area of their lives.